We are taught to forgive and forget, that anger is not nice and that we should always be polite.
This is not what this article is about. We sometimes can’t forgive or not instantly. It is sometimes not useful to forget things instead of dealing with them and anger is not necessarily a destructive emotion. It just needs to be channelled and expressed in non- destructive and functional ways.
What this article is about is about some of the basics
Try and treat others with respect
Try and see value in others
Try not to create bonds based on gossip
Be considerate of others e.g. be on time, take your turn
Don’t use aggression if it is unwarranted – rather put your point across clearly
Think of the impact of your behaviour on others
Respect others boundaries and privacy
Share where you can
Don’t put people down on social media i.e. troll just because you are anonymous
Try and have manners – yes old fashioned as it is, say thank you to the waitress, say please when you ask for something
Feel free to compliment someone on something without feeling it will make them look better than you
Give feedback in a way that is constructive
Don’t insist on giving advice to people who don’t necessarily want it. Rather ask how you can help
It's not always about winning
Just because you were bullied does not mean that you have to become one
Notice which people are not good for you in your life for one reason or another
Be willing to find admirable role - models, even as an adult
Have fun in ways that are not destructive to others or yourself
Be willing to change if necessary
Become aware of where your prejudices lie – we all have them.
These can be how we feel about overweight people, very thin people, religious people, non-religious people, people of different colour, privileged people, old people, unemployed people, men, women. Basically, prejudice can lie in any area that is “not me”
Try and understand your prejudices, what are they based on? If you believe that you have no prejudices, look at your behaviour, your language, your willingness to understand.
Develop a consciousness, an awareness about yourself and others. We always know how others should change, but not always ourselves.
Being a good human does not always mean that you have to be good or boring. It is about your values, your compassion, your ability to connect with others in meaningful ways and your willingness to reflect on yourself and where you might have blind spots.
Being a good human is not being weak, in fact it takes a lot of courage in areas where it doesn’t come naturally.